Two Is Always Better Than One
by Anita
Summary: House's night of poker with Wilson and Cuddy takes an interesting turn. A possible sequel to my other story Ter Animus, though you don't need to have read it. House, Cuddy, Wilson


"Why in the world did I decide to come here?" Cuddy bemoaned.

"Because you can't get enough of Jimmy and me. C'mon, admit it, we're definitely your favourite department heads. And two heads are **always** better than one, right Cuddy?" House grinned wickedly at his own double entendre as Cuddy rolled her eyes in response.

"Why is everything about sex with you?" Cuddy queried, glaring.

"Don't get him started on that one." Wilson interjected as he began dealing the cards.

"Alright, ladies and gents, seeing as how we're the only three left and Cashier, Bartender and Guy from the Supermarket have run along, how 'bout we up the stakes?"

"No strip poker, House."

House pouted in reply. "You guys really are no fun!"

House picked up his cards, but chose to study his opponents rather than his hand. Unfortunately, their poker faces were set in place, and they were virtually unreadable, a trait he was certain that they had picked up from him.

"You in or you out?" Wilson prompted.

"Wanna see my brand-new poker face?" House exclaimed, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue garishly as he dropped his ante onto the table.

"Playing poker with you is like playing with an eight-year-old" Cuddy chuckled in spite of herself, adding her ante to the pot.

"Hmm, Cuddy's unusually cheerful. Which is extremely unusual, because Cuddy is never cheerful." Cuddy tossed House an annoyed look. "Must have some hand there, oh Great Dean of Wonders."

Cuddy simply raised a doubtful eyebrow at House's logic.

"I'll raise." Wilson cut in.

Now it was Wilson's turn to be on the receiving end of House's scrutiny.

"Wilson's raising? He's a wild man! Watch out, Cuddy, who knows what he'll do next? Maybe wear one of those neon ties I've heard so much about!" House mocked. "Safe ol' Wilson would **never** raise unless he knew it would pay off in the long-run…meaning you've got a killer hand too!"

"Maybe I just like irritating you." Wilson replied, giving Cuddy a smile.

"I fold!" House announced, dramatically. "The two of you have done me in! I never thought it would end this way! Just, go on without me!"

"Quit whining." Wilson retorted, taking his cards as Cuddy smirked and House reached for his Vicodin.

"Guess it's just you and me Wilson, now that the baby wants his ba-ba."

House popped a pill in his mouth. "Show me a baby on these, and I'll show you one stupid mother."

Wilson cringed slightly at House's choice of words.

"Oh, yeah, sorry 'bout that Cuddy. I get cranky when I don't win."

"Between the hospital and the two of you, sometimes I wonder if I already qualify as a mother."

"Yeah, who needs a kid when you've got the two of us?" House proclaimed, proudly, much to the amusement of the duo staring back at him.

"A lot less diaper changing." Wilson deadpanned.

Cuddy smiled. "Alright, then Wilson, winner takes all?"

"What? Bragging rights, some cash, that's it? There needs to be more to this victory than that! I wanna see some blood!"

"House, it's enough for me that you lost. Now you don't get to rub that in our faces for the next month." Cuddy answered.

"Just a little friendly competition…" House replied with a glint in his eye.

Wilson sighed. "What evil design do you have in mind?"

"Whoever loses gets to take me out to dinner."

"I pay for your lunches, I'm not paying for your dinners too, House." Wilson scoffed.

"And anyways, why would you **want** us to take you out to dinner? You hate anything that involves any actual effort." Cuddy added.

House grinned in reply. "What can I say, I'm a people pleaser. I mean, who wouldn't want to say they took **this** out?" House gloated, pointing smugly at himself. "Y'know, an untameable man is like an aphrodisiac."

Cuddy shook her head while Wilson merely looked confused.

"Oh, c'mon Jimmy. We all know I'm your 'greatest seduction project of all time'. Floozy girls just aren't challenging anymore, are they? But if you bagged me, well, then you've really proved you're mettle as a ladies man – err, you know what I mean…"

"You really are one twisted bastard." Wilson grumbled.

"Neither of you have anything to lose, you've both got wicked hands." House prodded.

"So, you're blackmailing us into taking you out on a date? Cameron's really rubbing off on you." Cuddy noted.

House gave her an appreciative smirk. "So, flip 'em over."

Cuddy and Wilson looked at each other. They knew there was no point in arguing.

One dinner with House. What was the worst that could happen?

With surprising synchronism, they flipped their cards over.

"You **both** only have a seven and a ten. You **do** realize that you both have **nothing.**"

Cuddy and Wilson eyed each other. They were **both** bluffing? With the **same** hand?

House whistled. "Not only did you both somehow manage to pull a fast one on me with your bluffs, but you both also managed to tie, in some strange twist of fate. I have to say that your deception was impressive, though it does make me wonder if you both were **trying** to lose."

Cuddy let her shoulders fall. "Well, at least neither of us has to take you out."

"Oh, on the contrary, my dear Cuddy, it seems that you will **both** be taking me out."

"What?" Wilson gawked at House as he grinned evilly and headed for the kitchen.

"Unbelievable." Cuddy muttered.

Wilson watched House's retreating figure curiously. "You don't think he **knew** it was going to be a tie, right?"

Cuddy sighed. "I definitely wouldn't put it past him."

They looked at each other and smiled.

"So, which one of us is buying the flowers?"


End file.
